For an extended period, I struggled with the conflict between my authentic desires and the weight of responsibility. This internal struggle was filled with questions regarding loyalty, personal identity, and sacrifice. I often reflected on whether my decisions were genuinely mine or simply the result of conforming to a predetermined role. The allure of love sharply contrasted with the unyielding demands of duty, impacting every facet of my existence.
I remained the daughter—not out of unwavering desire, but because the idea of being absent was unimaginable. I adopted the roles of caregiver, observer, and supporter, frequently questioning: Was this a manifestation of love, or merely the execution of obligation? Was my decision sincere, or was I caught in a loop of attachment? This uncertainty plagued me through countless sleepless nights, each hospital visit, and the intertwined moments of affection and exasperation. At times, I doubted my capacity to endure, as the weight felt both crushing and unending, leaving me to wonder if I had anything left to give. Caregiving revealed my vulnerabilities, and in those painful hours, mere survival felt less like a certainty and more like a distant aspiration.
Between My Heart and Obligation is a book I never planned to write, yet one I could not ignore. It goes beyond mere storytelling; it serves as a contemplation of the choices I made, those I examined, and the ones I will continue to reflect upon. It encapsulates the emotional burden of caregiving and the grace that can occasionally arise from such challenges. I have carried this internal turmoil for years, and now I have opted to disclose it—not to offer solutions, but to honor the complex nature of loving through obligation.
This work emerged from the long nights, quiet prayers, and the moments of both strength and vulnerability that defined my journey in caring for my aging parents. It is not a manual or checklist, but rather an honest portrayal of what it truly meant to support my parents during trying times.
I wrote this for caregivers who often feel unseen. For those sons and daughters who shoulder the heavy burden of love and responsibility without recognition or relief. For anyone who has ever murmured, “I don’t know how much longer I can sustain this,” yet continued to persevere.
The pages express sorrow, but they also convey humor, resilience, and the profound beauty of consistently showing up, even when unacknowledged. I did not write this to emphasize courage; I wrote it because the burden of silence was heavier than the truth, and I needed to create space for the voices often muted by obligation.
Between My Heart and Obligation will be released soon. If you have ever cared for a loved one, faced the decision to assume that role, or are currently navigating this journey, this book is meant for you. It does not offer definitive answers; it provides presence. Something authentic. Something human. I hope it acts as a companion during both the tumultuous moments and everything in between.
I invite you to join me on this journey as I prepare for publication. Subscribe for updates, share your own caregiving experiences in the comments, or simply engage in this space where honesty meets empathy.
For years, I dwelled in the ache between what my heart urged me to offer and what obligation insisted I provide. It was a space filled with questions of loyalty, of identity, of sacrifice. I often wondered whether I was choosing freely or simply fulfilling a role I could not step away from. That tension, between love’s gentle pull and duty’s unrelenting grip, shaped everything.
I was the daughter who stayed, not because I always wanted to, but because I could not imagine not showing up. I became the caregiver, the witness, the advocate, often wondering: Was this love, or was it duty? Was I choosing this, or was I simply unable to walk away? That question followed me through every sleepless night, every hospital visit, every moment of tenderness and resentment tangled together. There were times I was not sure I would make it through, when the weight of it all felt too heavy, too relentless, and I questioned whether I had anything left to give. Caregiving stripped me down to the bone, and in those aching hours, survival felt less like a certainty and more like a distant hope.
Between My Heart and Obligation is the book I never meant to write but could not ignore. It is not just a story, it is a reckoning with the choices I made, the ones I questioned, and the ones I will never stop revisiting. It reflects the emotional cost of caregiving, and the grace that sometimes rises from that cost. I carried this tension for years, and now I have laid it bare, not to offer answers, but to honor the complexity of what it means to love through responsibility.
It is born from the long nights, the whispered prayers, the moments of grace and grit that defined my caregiving journey with both my elderly parents. This book is not a manual. It is not a checklist. It is a window into the raw, unfiltered reality of what it meant to care for my parents when the world felt like it was falling apart.
I wrote this for the caregivers who feel invisible, for the sons and daughters who shoulder the weight of love and responsibility, often without recognition or rest. For anyone who has ever whispered, “I don’t know how much longer I can do this,” and then kept going anyway.
These pages hold heartbreak, yes, but also humor, resilience, and the beauty of showing up day after day, even when no one is watching. I did not write this to be brave. I wrote it because silence was heavier than truth, and I needed to make space for the voices we so often bury under obligation.
Between My Heart and Obligation is coming soon. If you have ever cared for someone you love, wrestled with the decision to step into that role, or if you are in the thick of it now, this book was written with you in mind. It does not offer easy answers; it offers presence, something real, something human. I hope it feels like a companion in the moments, the chaotic ones, and everything in between.
I invite you to follow along as I prepare to publish: subscribe for updates, share your own caregiving story in the comments, or simply sit with me in this space where honesty meets empathy.
